Sideswipe: July 30: I see what you did there

Not paranormal

A reader writes: “One time at my in-laws’ house, my husband’s mum was saying she had been hearing this low moaning sound every once and a while coming from somewhere in the living room. We stayed over for a while and sure enough we too heard this odd sound coming from somewhere in the living room. We couldn’t place the sound but it was definitely eerie. Naturally the conversation about the house being haunted started, but we decided it was probably something more realistic. This went on for a few days until one day she called us laughing uncontrollably, we asked what was so funny and she said the grandkids had come over for a visit and the youngest, Charlie, wanted to play with his farm book. Now this book was one of those interactive books where you press the animal and it makes a sound. He had left it in the toy box in the corner of the living room. He pulled it out and pressed the various animals only to discover most of them didn’t work, he pressed the cow and this low moaning sound came from the book. The batteries were so low from it being jammed in the toy box and being pushed up against another toy it would go off occasionally, draining its battery.”

Unsolicited advice for life

1. You don’t have to show up to every argument you’re invited to.
2. Comparison is the thief of happiness.
3. Unless you’re a rockstar in your field, your connections at work are most likely going to present the best opportunities for you down the line. Networking matters.
4. Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t also take advice from.
5. Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels that couldn’t make a decision.

Takapuna under attack

John writes: “The artistic genius of our city planners is evident in the careful application of gallons of garishly coloured paint on road surfaces and concrete planters along Huron St … their purpose to eliminate 13 parking sites and to enhance the walking experience of the many pedestrians … just one to be seen today! The piece de resistance is the brutalist structure with natural concrete benches under a rain-exposed pergola roof.”

Olympic tweets

“They should combine some events at the Olympics. It would be great if the pole vaulters landed on a trampoline, bounced on to a horse, and galloped straight into some jousting,” tweets Paul Bassett Davies.

“So much focus on the gold silver and bronze! What about the fourth-place finisher? Sorry about that 1/200th of a second. Here’s a cheese sandwich,” tweets Andi.

“Dressage in the Olympics should have a ‘chaos round’ where the riders get to pick what animal they are using in the last event. Riding a cow? +2. Zebra? +3. Giraffe? +5. A furious pig? +7,” tweets Dave.

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